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Setbacks and Hope

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Well what a whirlwind 2015 has been so far. Its been a very difficult few months for us. We’ve dealt with a lot of sickness, someone telling lies about us, a lot of setbacks on our adoption journey and so much more. We have been walking in quite a lonely valley for a few months. But even when your heart breaks and you feel alone there is always hope!

Its been so hard to share about the ups and downs of our adoption journey because its so hard to explain the ins and outs of this crazy web of adoption details. Even those closest to us don’t really get the process. Mostly because we haven’t really done a good job explaining things. Often times we don’t fully understand everything but we have to just go with the flow and do our best.

We have had a lot going on with the adoption and haven’t really shared much because we just don’t really know where to start. So I am going to try to get better at explaining things and keeping everyone in the loop as much as possible. Im going to try to give a BREIF overview of some of the things going on and then I hope to explain things a little more in detail with some future posts explaining each part a little better. Parts of the adoption process is confidential and some things we will just never get to talk about. That part is hard for me… I am a very open person and find it difficult not to tell all. But for my future precious kids and our adoption process I am going to have to get used to just leaving some parts out and learn to be ok with that.

Over the last few months our adoption timeline has become much much longer. We are now likely looking at a 3-4 year timeline. We have already put a year into this adoption and I am not counting that in the 3-4 years that we still will have to wait. Over the last couple of months it has felt like we have taken so many steps backwards that it has felt almost like we lost our way, like the nice bright pathway in front of us has become so dark and muddy that we were not sure which way was up down back or forward. But with our eyes fixed on God we have continued to push forward through the darkness… Keeping our eyes on Him instead of which way to go. One thing we know for certain is that this is the journey He has brought us on and that we are still completely steadfast and dedicated to walking this journey with Him. We still can hardly wait for the day that we get to meet our precious children.

Checklist
So a few brief details that I hope to explain in future posts:

Our home study and Ontario approval-  Our home study was completed last fall. We then expected our home study file to go to “The Ministry,” which is the part of the government of Ontario that approves to become adoptive parents. Somehow our file was misplaced and it was not sent in for approval until just before Christmas.
Our dossier for Haiti – Our dossier is our file full of all of the paperwork required by Haiti and our adoption agency. This took quite a few months and a ton of work to complete. But it was completed last December 1st. We expected this to head down to Haiti right after. But that is when we found out our home study had not been sent in for approval yet.
FBI background check- In early February we received an email explaining that we needed to change a few things in our home study in order to get approval and that we would also need an additional background check. We had done all of the required background checks but it turns out the requirements had changed after our home study was complete but before it was sent in for approval. The problem here is that the FBI is backlogged by 16 weeks because of a change in their system.
Expired paperwork- We notified our adoption agency that our Ministry approval was going to be quite delayed due to needing the FBI background check. They then told us that if we had to wait that long all of our paperwork that we have worked on for months was going to expire. Everything in our home study and dossier must be dated within 5 months of being sent down to Haiti. So now we feel like we are back at the beginning again… Not completely at the beginning but it was a big blow and has been really tough to comprehend.
18 month rule- There is a guideline in Ontario that you cannot adopt any children that are within 18 months of age of any of your biological children. We were under the impression that this was not going to be enforced in our situation. But the Ministry has since said that we will 100% have to abide by this. Our adoption agency has told us that if we abide by this rule it will be very difficult to find a match for us… that it may be many years to find a match… at first they said that it would be impossible. But since then they have said that it is possible but that it will likely take a long long time.

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I am praying for a miracle. I know that looking back I will see God guiding and directing us through this dark muddy journey right directly to our precious Haitian children.  He sees every detail from start to finish. He sees the path like a perfectly lit highway. From our point of view we can hardly see a thing. But he has promised us with so much if we just continue to keep our eyes on Him and walk forward in faith!
Here are a few verses that have been so encouraging to us:

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1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Hebrews 12:1b-2 and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Joshua 1:9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.Psalm 23: 3b-4a He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

Have a blessed day!~Debra

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{ 7 comments… add one }
  • Grandma Tami March 13, 2015, 3:01 pm

    Such a whirl of emotions. SO proud of you and so thankful God has this in His hands… otherwise I would be quite a mess. I love you. Praying with you and for you. Mom and Dad R.

  • Jamie March 13, 2015, 6:51 pm

    Beautifully articulated Debra. We are praying with you daily. The only constant in this journey is God’s goodness and faithfulness. Choose faith over fear. Walk in His strength. Looking forward to seeing you guys and getting caught up on Sunday!

  • Mark March 13, 2015, 10:40 pm

    man! Hang in there guys. It’s very interesting to see and hear all the work that goes into adoption…praying for you. We’re so thankful for your work in the kingdom.

  • Jeanne Wunderle March 14, 2015, 2:56 am

    Our prayers continue for your family in your adoption journey. May the Lord abundantly bless you beyond all measure, though the road has been so difficult. We love you!

  • Jacqueline March 14, 2015, 10:33 am

    Hang in there Debra and Norm! Thank you for sharing these details, you have a clear perspective of whom you trust in and that is very encouraging to us as we read this. We will be praying for you and the kids as you press on and pursue adoption. Say hi to the boys from our kids!

  • Carol Blok March 14, 2015, 11:41 am

    Trinity will be praying for you through this process. Our hope in this situation is knowing God is with you, and will see you through this difficulty.
    Blessings and love!

  • Ruth Flores March 14, 2015, 2:21 pm

    Debra I have been praying for you and your family. Some of these setback seem ridiculous, but I think that maybe some of these things came up because the child tree n you are supposed to adopt are not availiable yet. Who knows maybe not even born! I don’t know the circumstances as well as you do but God blesses those who are faithful even if you feel like it’s not going your way! God knows your hearts are gold and your desires are pure! He is working on one of the most beautiful plans in your life! Don’t forget there are sooooo many people praying for you and loving you through this! You are truly an amazing woman and a great example of God’s love and patience! Norm is a very blessed man and your kids even more blessed to have a mom and dad sooo full of love!!!! I will continue to pray for this adoption and for your family!!!!

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